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2012-02-06 15:00:00
Ultimately, what matters about a Super Bowl is how it's remembered years from now. So please, remember nothing you see about this video from Taiwanese animation company NMA, because if you do, someday recounting those thoughts will get you institutionalized.
That great catch Mario Manningham made along the sidelines? The ball was on fire and caught with a basket like the ones they collect money with in church. Ahmad Bradshaw briefly entered the Matrix before he went into the end zone. And God doesn't love Tim Tebow anymore.
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But in the end, the Super Bowl is just Jesus playing with action figures. Which is actually kind of a comforting notion, because if that's how the Super Bowl is controlled, then that's how I'm controlled, and I've always wanted to be an action figure. I hope I come with a championship belt or something.
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Also, Madonna is a "geriatric Lady Gaga"? Come on, that's not fair. Madonna crushed it. You know what else, Taiwanese animators? Her halftime show was twice as bizarre as your postgame animation of it. She wins. Step your game up.
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"We're playing the defending champs and you can tell they're not going to beat themselves. That team, just from them going all the way, you can see it over there. There's no panic…You can tell that's a machine over there and we've got to be at our best."
- San Jose's Scott Gomez on the Los Angeles Kings. Los Angeles leads the series 2-1.