The latest entry in the Caveman Files is Vancouver Canucks behemoth Tom Sestito.
The latest entry in the Caveman Files is Canucks behemoth Tom Sestito.
The 6-foot-5, 228-pound left winger graced the Vancouver/Los Angeles game with one second of "hockey" Monday night. This was it:
It was "retribution" for Jordan Nolan's attempted hit – not dirty hit, not clean hit, just attempted hit – on Henrik Sedin.
For attacking Nolan, who didn't fight back, Sestito received a two-minute instigator penalty, 10-minute instigator misconduct, five-minute fighting major and 10-minute game misconduct. That brought his night to a close in the first period with 27 penalty minutes in one second of ice time.
Sestito carries a $750,000 cap hit and his 2013-14 salary is $650,000. That amounts to $7.926.83 per game. So Sestito earned $7,926.83 for one second of hockey.
What a joke. This is what I'm talking about when I say the game needs to remove the role of Caveman. I'm not taking a stance on fighting here – notice how I'm not complaining about Ryan Kesler versus Dustin Brown? – I'm taking a stance on employing players who do nothing besides punch people in the face. Oh, sorry, Sestito does have four goals this season, bringing his career total to nine, so I suppose he's the best of the caveman lot.
OK, maniacal Canucks fans, do your worst in the comments.
Matt Larkin is an associate editor at The Hockey News and a regular contributor to the thn.com Post-To-Post blog. For more great profiles, news and views from the world of hockey, subscribe to The Hockey News magazine. Follow Matt Larkin on Twitter at @THNMattLarkin