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Loose Change: Two times twelve

Charlie Teljeur
By:
The Hockey News
News

Loose Change: Two times twelve

Charlie Teljeur
By:


The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this. Any similarities between this and actual events is strictly coincidental and frankly, dumb luck. Remember to remind your lawyer about the made-up part, OK?

I know what you're thinking: It's been seven freaking years and I still can't tell which one is Daniel Sedin and which one is Herbert, or Franklin, or whatever the other one's name is.

Yes, they're identical twins, but not exactly identical (which kind of contradicts the first part of that statement now that I think about it). But if you're looking for guaranteed ways to tell the brother Heckyl from the brother Jeckyl, we may have a few helpful hints for you. Twelve, in factÂ…

Top 12 Ways to Tell Sedin Twins Apart:

12 Henrik is a natural center. Daniel is naturally centered.

11 Henrik's hair is slightly shorter. Daniel has an afro.

10 Daniel shoots left. Henrik shoots left-ish.

9 Henrik has map of Sweden tattoo. Daniel has directions to nearest 7-11.

8 Daniel believes in gun control. Henrik thinks guns should be free to roam.

7 Henrik is allergic to refined sugar. Daniel is allergic to heroin.

6 Daniel is a devout Catholic. Henrik just thinks Pope is hot.

5 Henrik is .039775 inches taller.

4 Daniel's hands are slightly bigger and he has no thumbs.

3 Daniel raises his arms after a goal. Henrik lowers his pants.

2 Henrik has an H before his name on jersey back. Daniel has an ampersand.

1 Daniel is lactose intolerant. Henrik just hates cows.

Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN's hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Friday only on thehockeynews.com.

Want to talk to Charlie about love, life, or Loose Change? Email him at charlieteljeur@hotmail.com

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Loose Change: Two times twelve