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Loose Change: Once a round

Charlie Teljeur
By:
The Hockey News
News

Loose Change: Once a round

Charlie Teljeur
By:


The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this. Any similarities between this and actual events is strictly coincidental and frankly, dumb luck. Remember to remind your lawyer about the made-up part, OK?

In a forum like this, random, unrelated thoughts are a kind of literary smorgasbord. If I was a guy at a street corner doing the same thing, I'd be collecting spare change. Not sure, which pays better...

- If Peter Forsberg's career is a tour of Europe, Nashville is a strip of toilet tissue, at a gelato stand, in Liechtenstein.

- “Hello OnStar? This is the Detroit Red Wings. We need some help. I can't find Second Round anywhere on our maps…”

- My favorite scene from Lord of the Rings is where Jamie McLennan does that quick spin and slices that ugly Orc dude in half with his saber. “You have soiled the sanctity of The Sacred Crease and thou will pay in full.” Great line.

- You can have your David Blaines and your Copperfields, but, for my money, I'll take the Mighty Sedins any day. Disappearing, for 12 days, and then re-appearing as the hero's about to perish. Awesome.

- Thrashered – (THRA- sherd) verb – To skip out on something without warning; to stand up on a date. Eg. I waited all night at the restaurant for him but I guess he thrashered me.

- On the plus side, the Sabres first two opponents have been very close in proximity and within the same time zone. On the minus side, the toll bridges are just killing them.

- Dear Senators. I'm worried. We've had such a great relationship over the past few years and now you seem so distant, and you pretend that you don't even know me. It's like we can't even connect anymore. I know you're never far from my thoughts and I know I'm never far from yours. Please call. Signed, The Goddess of Choke.

Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN's hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Friday only on thehockeynews.com.

Want to talk to Charlie about love, life, or Loose Change? Email him at charlieteljeur@hotmail.com

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Loose Change: Once a round