The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this. Any similarities between this and actual events is strictly coincidental and frankly, dumb luck. Remember to remind your lawyer about the made-up part, OK?
Sure, you've heard a lot about janitor Rory Fitzpatrick and how he's managed to almost secure himself an All Star Game roster spot due to an online campaign and, evidently, a very large extended family, but did you know there are others?
Rory is just the tip of the proverbial ice skate when it comes stuffing the ballot box.
Here now are the Top 12 additional candidates who have garnered a whole crap-load of online write-in votes:
Top 12 All Star Ballot Write-In Candidates:
12 Sammy McSmellypants
10 Jenna Jameson
8 Al Gore
7 Han Solo
6 None of the Above
5 Tim Horton
2 I.P. Nightly
Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN's hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Thursday, only on thehockeynews.com.
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