John Scott (Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
John Scott, pretty much the last player you'd expect to score, tallied a beauty against the Washington Capitals Tuesday night.
This is a public service announcement. It's safe to climb out of your fallout shelters. Apologies if you dipped into your tomato soup reserves.
Turns out the world did not explode last night. Nothing melted. The walking dead do not roam the Earth. The oceans did not engulf major cities. Hmpf. A little surprising. John Scott scored a goal, after all. Figured that meant the End of Days.
Not only did the Sharks
professional caveman enforcer light the lamp, he actually did it with panache. Check out this video, which was hilariously easy to find (Google John Scott goal, and there aren't many competing results):
Roof daddy! Whoa. Scott legitimately beats Brooks Orpik to the corner with a burst of...speed? A burst of moxie, at the very least. Funny how no one on the ice knows how to process what just happened. A skirmish breaks out. The net gets knocked off. Barry Trotz pulls Braden Holtby. It's pandemonium, and it's an understandable coping mechanism.
Nice goal. I'm the first to harp on Scott, as I don't believe the role he plays belongs in the NHL anymore, but he deserves credit for a legit snipe job. He had as many goals last night as he did in his previous 201 games.
Honorable mention from the bananas San Jose/Washington game, which ended with a 6-5 Sharks win in a shootout: this gorgeous Marcus Johansson tally, in which every Capital player on the ice touches the puck. The Caps look like the way Disney would depict a perfectly disciplined villain team in a Mighty Ducks sequel. "We will pick you apart, with ze ultimate combination of precise movements. Puny Americans."
Still, for once in a lifetime, the game belonged to John Scott and his buttery, buttery hands.
Matt Larkin is an associate editor at The Hockey News and a regular contributor to the thn.com Post-To-Post blog. For more great profiles, news and views from the world of hockey, subscribe to The Hockey News magazine. Follow Matt Larkin on Twitter at @THNMattLarkin