by Charlie Teljeur - May 18, 2007 12:10 AM EDT
Presenting your one-stop guide to creating a standard-issue NHL gab-fest.
Putting together a compelling post-game press conference is a lot like putting together a great recipe.
We start with:
- One large room;
- 17 burn-my-iris-till-it-smokes floodlights;
- One extra long buffet table (remove Have a Happy Life Bob & Sue sign);
- A smattering of cameras;
- Four guys from previous century with notepads;
- One over-sized background façade (logos must be visible from Space Shuttle);
- Some people to man the cameras;
- Some coaches and athletes to field the questions and look pretty.
by Charlie Teljeur - May 15, 2007 12:53 AM EDT
We sit down with the NHL's hairiest superstitions to find out what life is like on the face.
The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this.
by Charlie Teljeur - May 11, 2007 12:00 AM EDT
Where's the big upset? Where's the unsung hero? Here's 12 things we'd like to see to ratchet up the playoff excitement.
The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this.
by Charlie Teljeur - May 4, 2007 12:01 AM EDT
In this week's Friday Top 12, we countdown the many ways Team Canada is trying to include the whole country.
The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this.
by Charlie Teljeur - May 1, 2007 12:00 AM EDT
Need to point the finger somewhere to explain hockey's lack of popularity? We've got exactly the direction for you.
The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this.
by Charlie Teljeur - April 27, 2007 12:00 AM EDT
Every wonder what they are really saying when they talk about upper- or lower-body injuries? We've got you covered...
I've never really been one for terribly intricate logic. Perhaps it's the sheer limitations of my canary-sized brain, but something, in my head at least, wonders about the thinking behind some of the ludicrous decisions made in the name of, yes, logic.
by Charlie Teljeur - April 24, 2007 12:00 AM EDT
As the playoffs wear on, sanity slowly begins to slip. But that's never stopped us from spreading the seed...
The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this.
by Charlie Teljeur - April 20, 2007 12:00 AM EDT
It's great to be hopeful, but maybe it's time to turn your optimism toward getting that perfect tee-time.
So you're a positive person. We all know that. And, as a sports fan you have a never-say-die attitude. It doesn't matter what sort of adversity you're collectively facing, you will somehow find a way to overcome it.
by Charlie Teljeur - April 17, 2007 12:00 AM EDT
A small but sturdy pile of snippets swept out from under the playoff rug.
Some epic thoughts on the NHL playoffs for people with really short attention spans:
- Has anyone ever actually seen Daniel Alfredsson blink?
- I know I've mentioned it before, but to give you an idea how truly small New Jersey's Brian Gionta is, it takes him three shifts to display his entire last name because he can only fit two letters at a time on the back of his jersey.
by Charlie Teljeur - April 13, 2007 12:00 AM EDT
Prepare yourself, America, because you're about to be introduced to another Donald.
The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this.
by Charlie Teljeur - April 10, 2007 12:00 AM EDT
With drama fit for a made-for-TV movie, the Ville Peltonen story reached its climax this week.
The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this.
by Charlie Teljeur - April 6, 2007 12:00 AM EDT
The final stretch can be stressful, but don't resort to drugs, just read on...
The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this.
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"That hockey game will haunt me until the day I die…"
- Toronto's Joffrey Lupul reacting on Twitter to his team's meltdown loss in Game 7 to the Boston Bruins.
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