Mumps outbreak has anthem as Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” gets parody treatment

Jared Clinton
Tally Deushane sings her parody song "Mumps Face" (via YouTube)

During the NHL’s mumps outbreak, every fan has been wishing for the same thing: what we need is a Taylor Swift parody to accurately describe the whole ordeal.

Wish no longer, hockey fans. Thanks to Tally Deushane, the co-host of the Girls Just Wanna Have Puck podcast, we now have a ukulele parody of Swift’s Blank Space, complete with lyrics like, “You got a mumps face, baby, better vaccinate.” Read more

Dallas Stars poke fun at Jagr, want their practice facility key back

JJagr

Jaromir Jagr was a Dallas Star for all of 34 games, but when Jagr and the New Jersey Devils visited the Lone Star State, the Stars made sure remind fans of Jagr’s time in Dallas.

With yet another list, the Stars scoreboard operators ran down some of Jagr’s greatest achievements while a member of the team, and again, just like when pointing to things to do in Winnipeg, the list got a bit thin near the bottom. We kind of want to know about this missing key, though: Read more

Don’t look now, but the Buffalo Sabres are in the playoff hunt

Adam Proteau
Jhonas Enroth and Brian Gionta (Bill Wippert/NHLI via Getty Images)

After their 18th game of the season, the Buffalo Sabres had a 3-13-2 record and were being talked about the way you talk about that cousin nobody in your family likes to talk about: in hushed tones, with faint hope that things will turn around for them.

One month later – and after Monday’s 5-4 shootout win over the division rival Senators – they’re riding a four-game win streak and a six-game home win streak, their longest since they won the Presidents’ Trophy in 2006-07. Their record in that time is 10-3-0, and they’re only two standings points behind the Sens, four points behind the Bruins, and four points out of the final wild-card berth in the Eastern Conference.

That’s correct. The Sabres could make the playoffs this season. This may give you the distinct sensation of being in a dreamlike state, but this is in fact occurring in real life. Read more

Trade Taylor Hall? Is it April 1 already, Oilers?

Adam Proteau
Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Taylor Hall (Getty Images)

A TSN report that suggested Oilers star left winger Taylor Hall will be on the trade block should alarm Edmonton’s long-tortured fan base.

Trade Hall? Is it April 1 already?

There should be no sacred cows with a team this incapable of competing, but the idea the franchise could retain the services of president of hockey operations Kevin Lowe and trade away its most talented player is galling and will rightfully raise ulcer rates across the city. There’s nothing wrong with breaking up the core of talent the Oilers have assembled – in fact, that’s exactly what should happen – but if Edmonton management is going to retain one or two of their current young talents to move forward with a new roster, it’s probably a good idea if they held on to the best one they’ve got.

Now, you can argue Hall has the most value of anyone currently in an Edmonton jersey, and you’d be right. But if he’s the most proven talent of all Oilers youngsters, why not deal Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Nail Yakupov and/or Jordan Eberle instead? Surely any competent GM could use any combination of those three players (or at least two of them in separate deals) to address the depth and talent issues the organization clearly faces, right? Even if they draft Connor McDavid this summer, they’ll need to fix their defense and goaltending or it will all be for naught again. Surely MacTavish can acquire some blue-chip prospects and/or experienced defensemen able to contribute, right? Garth Snow did so in the form of Johnny Boychuk for a far cheaper return. It’s just about doing it right, and that brings me to the most important point.

In the same report, TSN’s Darren Dreger said Hall “at least from a culture standpoint – in the room, not on the ice – hasn’t been what they hoped he would be”. The same was undoubtedly true for former Oilers coach Dallas Eakins, who was fired Monday morning after blowing away MacTavish two summers ago in a job interview. But after so many of these decisions have failed to work out, when does it become fair to point the finger of blame at management’s concept of a winning culture and the people who are continuously choosing the wrong people for the jobs? Read more

Police say Voynov punched, kicked, choked wife; case will go to trial

Jared Clinton
Slava Voynov's salary will no longer count as part of L.A.'s cap hit while he is suspended. (Photo by Juan Ocampo/NHLI via Getty Images)

During a preliminary hearing, a Rendondo Beach, Calif. police officer has testified that Slava Voynov’s wife told police the suspended Los Angeles Kings defenseman punched, kicked, and choked her.

The testimony stated that Voynov’s wife was left with a cut over her eye, red marks and scratches on her neck, and was also pushed to the ground repeatedly. Voynov has been charged with a felony count of corporal injury to spouse with great bodily injury.

Nathan Fenno of the Los Angeles Times was in court, reporting the testimony as it happened.

(Warning: The reported information is graphic.) Read more

Power Rankings: Soaring Ducks on pace for 120 points

Ken Campbell
Ducks

Only two teams in the past 10 seasons have finished with 120 points or more, but the Anaheim Ducks are on pace to join the 2009-10 Washington Capitals and the ’05-06 Detroit Red Wings.

Now the bad news. Both those teams lost in the first round of the playoffs. There might be some concern the Ducks are peaking too early, but it’s tough to lose when the only playoff team you face during a seven-game winning streak is the Winnipeg Jets. Their torrid pace has put the Ducks at the top of thn.com’s weekly Power Rankings. (Last week’s ranking in parentheses.) Read more

Rumor Roundup: Stewart still available, Blues and Jets may look for deals before trade freeze

Patrik Berglund Blues featured

With the NHL holiday trade freeze slated for midnight on Dec. 19, there’s increasing focus on Buffalo Sabres right wing Chris Stewart in the rumor mill. SI.com’s Allan Muir reports Sabres GM Tim Murray is reportedly willing to move the 27-year-old winger for the right price but so far he hasn’t found any takers.

Muir claims the Boston Bruins and Ottawa Senators are said to have interest in Stewart. The Edmonton Journal’s Jim Matheson adds the Pittsburgh Penguins to that list, while the Ottawa Sun’s Bruce Garrioch claims the Calgary Flames are also among the interested parties. Read more