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THN.com Blog: The Lightning's 'wild and crazy' trade talks

'Wild and crazy' Oren Koules of the Tampa Bay Lightning announces the first pick of the 2008 NHL Entry Draft. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

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'Wild and crazy' Oren Koules of the Tampa Bay Lightning announces the first pick of the 2008 NHL Entry Draft. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Len Barrie and Oren Koules have done a great job drawing attention to their Sunbelt team by shaking up the roster and attracting much needed fans, who are searching for the newest underdog on the block.

The two new 'wild and crazy' Tampa owners stormed onto the scene in the summer and I’m a big fan of the unconventional way they’ve put their team together.

The trade for Andrej Meszaros was a drawn-out sequence of events and we may never know exactly how it all went down. Yet, in the end, they got the guy they were after.

When I was thinking about what their trade negotiations for Meszaros with Ottawa GM Bryan Murray must have been like, I couldn't help but think of one of my favorite skits from Saturday Night Live.

Len Barrie: Excuse me, sorry to interrupt your day of business. But I was just wondering something. I am Len Barrie, and this is my partner, Oren. We have too many forwards on our professional hockey team and we need a defenseman. Can you help?

Bryan Murray: Um, sorry, no. I'm not looking to make any moves at the moment.

LB: You must know we usually have lots of defense, because we have lots of money to spend. But both my partner Oren and I enjoy trying many things.

Oren Koules: We are, two wild and crazy guys!

LB: I'll say.

OK: Why, just the other day, we traded our best defenseman. I can't tell you!

LB: Say, you know, you have a swinging NHL team of defense. You could have many great championships. Which you would enjoy a great deal!

OK: It's so well thought out and together!

LB: Look at you swinging GM, having a good time in Ottawa, you enjoy yourself here and now!

OK: Don't mention it!

LB: My partner and I are from the West Coast, even though no one can tell. We bought the team after the Palace and Absolute collapse of '07. We bought them to run an NHL team on the East Coast, but boy, we gave up many things. Back there, Oren made groovy movies and I owned many swinging resorts. Back there, we have many successes, but here on the East Coast, we must run a last-placed team in a sport without many viewers. There, we are stars!

OK: We are, unique kinds of guys!

LB: Two swinging guys who own many things and can do them all the time! Not to be polite, but what have you won?

BM: Um, well, the Anaheim team I used to run won the Stanley Cup on the parts I put together.

LB: Well, you look like a shrewd Canadian GM, who have many successes, who enjoy making a good trade!

OK: So many times, me and my partner have tried to make a trade! I think you would see just how swinging we are if we made a trade right now!

LB: You want to make a trade?

OK: Sure! There's nothing preventing us!

BM: Uh, listen fellas, we just ended last season on a sour note and we already lost one of our best defensemen. I'd like to go into the season with what I have.

LB: Well why should we wait? We're putting the moves on you!

OK: So, how much cap space do you have?

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BM: Um, about $6-7 million.

LB: OK! Just tell me when you want to trade Andrej Meszaros already!

OK: Nice offer, Len!

LB: I know, I made another good one again. We sure are building a great team!

OK: But enough of this flattery. Bryan, you seem to know that we are talking to you in a very serious way. What can you say to us that we would enjoy trading to you now, here and now, in this swinging way with us?

{Awkward silence}

BM: Look guys...

LB: Maybe you'd like another defenseman, which can score you many points.

BM: Well, oh, I guess Filip Kuba scored 15 goals one year and has 13 points in 24 career playoff games...

{Len and Oren are impressed with the change in tone}

OK: Well this is sure a swinging rap session on the East Coast!

BM: Well, um, I'm not really sure...do I want to make this deal now? No.

OK: Well, maybe someday someone will give him a sheet with an offer on it!

{Len and Oren laugh like they know something is already up}

LB: Maybe even from us!

{Len and Oren laugh some more}

OK: So now...you know!

LB: Say, my partner Oren and I really like to make trades. To show you how freewheeling we are and how much we love to trade, we're going to offer you Alexandre Picard now! You get him, by trading us Meszaros now!

OK: Come on you crazy Canadian!

BM: Uhh...

LB: Come on Bryan. Don't miss out on the fun!

OK: I see you have made little trades of your defensemen in the past, so get out of your ways!

BM: Look guys, I gotta go...

LB: Hey, hey, hey wait! You know, you have made so many good trades all the time.

OK: And your drafting history think us...have...Stanley Cup rings!

LB: Well, I guess you must want to trade now! So please, send it into the league offices so we can make a trade right now!

BM: I've got an idea, why don't I think about it and if he does get an offer sheet, I'll call you guys back?

OK: Certainly! But I hope it is not long before you call us back!

LB: And we are signing Meszaros to a long-term extension!

BM: OK, so if he gets an offer sheet I'll trade you Meszaros for Kuba and Picard. OK?

OK: Of course! We jive with that deal.

BM: Well, I'll call you guys back if that happens then. Bye fellas.

LB: You see Oren, I told you! In this whole league there is not one other pair of partners from the West Coast who can make trades like us!

OK: That's because, we are…

LB & OK: Two wild and crazy guys!

Rory Boylen is THN.com's web content specialist. His blog appears Thursdays.

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